Mimosa ma’am? Hot towel, Miss? Buckle your seatbelt and enjoy the friendly skies. A trip across my last 365 days.
As I board what seems like the millionth Boeing 737 this year, I reflect upon Year 27. The first class seat might fool you, but the life lessons I’ve learned this year weren’t discovered through rainbows and butterflies. They were built through experience, heartbreak, and miles of self-reflection.
The Cockpit
The first rule of thumb that I mastered during my golden year is to stand up for yourself, even if it’s not popular opinion. Many people take the easy route, sticking to the mainstream not rustling a feather even if one appears the need to be plucked. People are sensitive making the line between bossy and confident a titch blurry. Nobody aims to hurt another’s feelings, at least I hope not, but it’s easy to be taken advantage of when you fear ownership. Ownership of actions. Ownership of feelings. Ownership of being the pilot of your every day life. What some people fail to realize is the extra care poured into another’s soul, blindly hurts our own happiness. Let me explain. Many people find that speaking their truth is unkind, bold, and unnecessary allowing their body to turn to pavement from being walked all over. However, the truth, in my eyes, is to stop kicking the pebbles down the road. Cut off the bad behavior. Protect YOUR peace. Stand up for what you believe is right; sometimes it’s the opinion everyone else is thinking in the room. Someone has to be the black swan in a world of white ones. Boldness comes with age or at least for it to be respectable, experience must follow. Personally, I trust more people with boundaries, adversaries, and mistakes. Those people will tell you the truth, whether it’s kind or not. Not all news needs delivered with a slice of cake, or a complimentary bag of pretzels in this aerial article. People pleasers controversially can do more harm than good. This stems from a recent conversation with one of my good friends who is in a bit of a legal predicament. The best compliment she gave me was, “I called you because I knew you’d tell me the truth.” If you know me, I don’t sugarcoat. My expressions complete sentences before my mouth ever will. I’m not a tremendous liar and for that I would rather be the friend you call for real answers, over the one you call for fake, textbook “feel goods.” In my early 20s, I was reckless. My mouth spoke whatever crossed my mind, not to say that it still doesn’t at times. However, the transformation came when I started to own my decisions. I’m not a nice person. I’m a good person. There is a difference. Yes, I am loud. Yes, I have thoughts. Yes, I am careless, fun, and a bit of a handful. You decide if you want on the plane. I promise I have my pilot’s license.
The Complimentary In-Air Service
No matter how many times you’ve flown, you occasionally need assistance from a flight attendant. “Here. Hold my 3-flight-old wrap with mayo while I throw my carry-on into the overhead.” Translate to ordinary life; it’s okay to ask for help. In Year 27, I took the fearful step that I’ve always considered — therapy. Most of my life, my brain has traveled before my age. Adjectives like “old soul” or “wise beyond years” have been used to describe me for decades. I always knew that someday, the unprocessed emotions that propelled my wisdom would catch up to me in the dark. The moment where you write the letters to your loved ones, leaving stains of tears on the table, and search the cabinet for old prescription bottles. Although the grim reaper came dangerously close, the darkness did not outlast the light, thankfully. For that reason, I leaned on my best friends to pull me onto the therapeutic couch miles away from my current county. Did I go for one particular incident of love vs lust? Yes, but the overhead bins began to pop open with unresolved trauma once the seatbelt sign was off. My advice to the reader: go miles away to seek help; you will trust the counselor more, go once; you don’t have to return, virtual therapy is an option yet in person is so much better. In this year, I discovered that you can trust passengers too. These people have been through the same turbulence you have, however be careful who to trust. Pick your secret keepers carefully and remember, the right thing and the hard thing are usually the same.
The Exit Row
We all have an exiting day, make sure your years are worth it. In the words of my 78-year-old mechanic, "Life is ass backwards." I live and ironically die by the thought that every day could be someones last. With that, I try to spend as much time as I possibly can making memories exploring what I love. Obviously, that dips into my frequent flyer miles but happiness can be found at home, too. I recently met an intellect who debatably self-reflects more than I. He said, “I have everything you could ever want. I have a beautiful wife, two kids (boy and a girl), money to buy whatever I want, yet I still find myself unhappy at times.” This thought begs the question, “Does money really buy happiness?” My answer, no. We do. We buy our own happiness. Sure, happiness is not an item you can pick off the snack cart for $14.99, however you can make the decision to do what you love. Leave your cheating husband. Buy the plane ticket. Don’t reward bad behavior because it’s the easy route. Spend money on experiences that make you feel rich. As my brother says, ‘you can always make more money, but you can’t make more time.” Not everyday can be full of color and hypothetical dreams, but more moments in the clouds can exist. Romanticize your life. Fall in love with a new coffee creamer. Smell the freshness of the open Spring air. Take out the AirPods and listen to the birds. Life is beautiful if only we look. Give your Grandma an extra kiss goodbye. Call your friends even if you are both busy. Never waste a moment to tell someone how much you appreciate & love them.
While the final months of my 27th turn around the sun ended on a rather bad note, it began to build the best version of me. The kind with unlimited leg room and window seats. The version that protects my peace, that follows my heart, and most importantly, the version that accepts highs cannot exist without lows. Today, and every day after, I insist on being happy, thankful, and realistic for all my blessings. When it rains, it pours. That’s why they make umbrellas and windshield wipers. In my very South Dakotan, Midwest nature, every pasture has bullshit, discover which land is best for grazing.
Year 28. I’m ready for takeoff.
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