I need you to answer my phone calls with a sarcastic, witty comment. I need you to share the chip dip over a game of Phase 10. I need you to remind me of all the cravings my dad used to have and how my taste buds are just like his. I need you to get better.
Pal & a Confidant
I know heartbreaking moments in life happen and we go through the motions until we finally start to feel well again. I understand that process and with each loss we become a stronger, more humble human. I get that. The great Lord above has been so generous in my life. He allowed me to cherish years and years with you far past I could ever imagine. He allowed me to live closer to you, to run home on a Sunday for supper or to catch up on the latest and greatest soap opera scandal. Since I was 7 years of age and more evident since I was 12, your eventual absence weighs on my shoulders. Every morning, I wake up and wonder if you are okay because I was afraid of how I’d continue if you weren’t here. Who would match my blonde moments, even though we are brunette, with humor? Who would remind me of the days before life seemed so tough? Who would be my biggest champion claiming that I’m perfect when I’m quite the opposite? For all these fearful questions, the simple answer is, ‘I just need you to get better.”
Work in Progress
One of my weaknesses or “areas of opportunity”, as we say during job interviews, is the inability to go with the flow. Now, that’s only part way true. You want to hop in the car, roll the dice and take a left or a right until we reach a destination? Sure, I’m all about that! You want to catch a flight or drive a few hours to the WNIT basketball finals? Punch my ticket. However, when it comes to my family’s wellbeing and happiness, I must have control. It’s why I’m the loudest in the room because if I take the humor at my own expense that will make everyone else feel more comfortable, happier. Now, the opposite spectrum is a person’s physical wellbeing. The untouchable ability to control a person’s health is defeating and exhausting. We want to help our loved ones with all avenues unturned but sometimes, it’s on them to get better. To go to therapy. To find their purpose. To eat the damn vegetable soup and walk the hospital hallways. Our own minds are our worst enemy. Whether you are ill or of good health, we must build our own strength on solid foundations of self love, confidence and resilience. Support from family or friends are encouraging cheerleaders, but this 400 meter sprint is a solo event. Round that last corner; you are on the home stretch.
Listen up, Lady.
To my Grandma, please eat even if you are not hungry. Please gain your strength back so we can move you into your new digs at Golden Prairie. So you can play cards all day, every day with your friends. So you can watch the squirrels jump from limb to limb each morning while you reheat yesterday’s coffee. (It’s still in the microwave by the way). From your youngest granddaughter to her greatest trifecta treasure, I need you to get better.
Comments