A classic lyric from a 2007 teen idol, Hannah Montana, screams “Nobody’s Perfect” through her blonde wig and glittering microphone. Like many Disney messages, this one still rings true today. What is perfect? To me, that sounds boring.
Why Pretend?
Everyday life is exhausting. Throwing your clothes in the laundry weekly. Washing the dishes daily. If you have children, you’ve gained the complimentary gray hairs tied to every birth certificate with the never ending 10-second tidy of toys, or the constant “but why, Mom?” The daily decisions of living are stressful enough, why add to the chaos by pretending to be someone we are not? I’m sure, we all like to think we are the perfect person. We attend church regularly. We don’t do drugs but maybe drink a little (or a lot). We’re faithful to our counterparts but does that make us perfect? No, so we spend extra moments in the bathroom making sure our hair sits just right. We’re not spontaneous because heaven forbid our makeup isn’t done and if we do break the chains, we make sure everyone knows about it. That doesn’t make you perfect; it makes you selfish. Selfish with your own image. Selfish for the attention of others. Selfish by not making yourself happy and forcing others to empty their cup only to fill yours.
A recent trip to Seattle, Washington revealed the silver linings of the city. Usually, I’m complaining about the suffocation from the crowds and concrete. I want my corn fields, damnit. However, the city allows you to be whoever you want without judgement. Well, except from my people watching sessions but that’s more of a social experiment than a Judge Judy courtroom. You can dress in the tiniest crop top with the biggest love handles and who is to stop you. Surely, you won’t hear those rumors about yourself at the morning gossip, I mean, coffee table. Beyond that, nobody cares once they exit on their public transportation stop and return to their upbeat lifestyle. In a city, there are much bigger challenges to your commute than “do these shoes match my outfit?” Be you and stop pretending that your life is perfect. Nobody’s is.
When You Say Jump
Something I’m learning, very slowly, are boundaries. The audacity in this world is at an all-time high and if we don’t respect our self-worth, then people will chew us up and spit us out like a stick of gum. People will ask for your assistance, even after you’ve said no. And no. And no. People will beg for your attention. People will expect you to do things because you’ve done them once or they assume you’d like to do them. Yuck, people and their “assuming” but that’s a whole other tangent. Anyways, boundaries. Since we all want that perfect image, we say yes to these asks because we don’t want people to have a sour taste in their mouth when they hear our name. We overexert ourselves to please another and sadly, those favors don’t always come full circle. You can be sucked dry of your giving tendencies like a leech and never receive the gratitude to replenish your blood count. As people in a tight-nit community, we must remind ourselves that when they say jump, we don’t say how high. We first ask why we are jumping. Is it for self-interest? Is it to help a friend? Don’t do things because people expect them, do things because you want to.
In the Midwest, it’s traditional and nearly comical to say “ope, sorry.” We’re so apologetic but the use of that word can funnel into our vocabulary as meaningless as a common verb. When you say sorry, say it with purpose. Do everything with purpose. Purpose to please and uplift yourself for yourself but not at the expense of others.
Nobody is perfect. Perfect is boring, not unique. If you are aiming to be perfect, you are aiming to be mundane, common and blend into the crowd. And if standing in the mirror hour after hour makes you feel perfect, congratulations, you are nobody. Because say it again for the people in the back, nobody's perfect.
Photo creds: LoriKat
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